26 Sep

Our Foundational Principles

  1. There is no justification for one person to threaten the safety or security of another.
  2. Meanness and bullying happen according to a choice or choices made by the bullier alone. Punishment and criticism are irrelevant after the act…only disciplinary intervention, responsibility, and awareness matter.
  3. Bullying is an attack. Attacking others threatens safety and security, and causes harm to everyone involved.
  4. Being a widespread and common offense does not lessen bullyism’s unacceptability in each and every individual case.
  5. Outside influences do not lessen the responsibility upon the bullier, they just make choice-making harder.
  6. We cannot control other people’s choices…only our own. If others would like us to behave differently than we’d prefer, we can comply or refuse.
  7. The only person I can really control is “I”. If I think I can control others I am moving in the direction of frustration. If I think others can control me (and so are to blame for all that goes on in my life) I tend to do nothing constructive and again head for frustration.
  8. Bullying is not an ordinary or innocuous part of childhood and does not toughen up its perpetrators or targets; typical bullying behaviors are illegal and prosecutable in the adult world.
  9. An identified episode of deliberate cruelty is assumed to indicate a tendency or a potential.
  10. School-yard bulliers need help as much as the targets do. A community must value the bullier as it values their targets, although the behavior will be directly and clearly devalued.
  11. Bulliers can change. Change can be strengthened, deepened and/or accelerated by self-discovery.
  12. Intervention is not punishment (which demeans the child). It is the application of responsibility-taking that follows wrong choice and wrong action.
  13. Improvement is likely to be most lasting when paired with increased overall health of body and a healthy home environment.
  14. Success is jeopardized if the family does not acknowledge the need for improvement and the necessity of intervention.
25 Sep

Guidelines on Identifying a Potential Bullier

If 3 or more of these are answered in the affirmative, you may be sure that your enrollment is in the best interests of the child and family.

Does this child…

  • Have to always be the ‘first’ or the ‘winner’? Become mean if not first/not victorious?
  • Blame others without taking on any personal responsibility?
  • Declare him/herself the victim in all conflicts?
  • Become angry at—or insulted easily by—peers?
  • Seem less emotionally upset (other than indignation) than others after a conflict has occurred?
  • Enjoy seeing others make mistakes?
  • Lie/obfuscate to avoid even simple, non-serious consequences?
  • Regard rules as only applicable when adults are nearby?
  • Appear disinterested or unaffected when being scolded?

If so, direct, compassionate and constructive intervention is essential.