- There is no justification for one person to threaten the safety or security of another.
- Meanness and bullying happen according to a choice or choices made by the bullier alone. Punishment and criticism are irrelevant after the act…only disciplinary intervention, responsibility, and awareness matter.
- Bullying is an attack. Attacking others threatens safety and security, and causes harm to everyone involved.
- Being a widespread and common offense does not lessen bullyism’s unacceptability in each and every individual case.
- Outside influences do not lessen the responsibility upon the bullier, they just make choice-making harder.
- We cannot control other people’s choices…only our own. If others would like us to behave differently than we’d prefer, we can comply or refuse.
- The only person I can really control is “I”. If I think I can control others I am moving in the direction of frustration. If I think others can control me (and so are to blame for all that goes on in my life) I tend to do nothing constructive and again head for frustration.
- Bullying is not an ordinary or innocuous part of childhood and does not toughen up its perpetrators or targets; typical bullying behaviors are illegal and prosecutable in the adult world.
- An identified episode of deliberate cruelty is assumed to indicate a tendency or a potential.
- School-yard bulliers need help as much as the targets do. A community must value the bullier as it values their targets, although the behavior will be directly and clearly devalued.
- Bulliers can change. Change can be strengthened, deepened and/or accelerated by self-discovery.
- Intervention is not punishment (which demeans the child). It is the application of responsibility-taking that follows wrong choice and wrong action.
- Improvement is likely to be most lasting when paired with increased overall health of body and a healthy home environment.
- Success is jeopardized if the family does not acknowledge the need for improvement and the necessity of intervention.
If 3 or more of these are answered in the affirmative, you may be sure that your enrollment is in the best interests of the child and family.
Does this child…
- Have to always be the ‘first’ or the ‘winner’? Become mean if not first/not victorious?
- Blame others without taking on any personal responsibility?
- Declare him/herself the victim in all conflicts?
- Become angry at—or insulted easily by—peers?
- Seem less emotionally upset (other than indignation) than others after a conflict has occurred?
- Enjoy seeing others make mistakes?
- Lie/obfuscate to avoid even simple, non-serious consequences?
- Regard rules as only applicable when adults are nearby?
- Appear disinterested or unaffected when being scolded?
If so, direct, compassionate and constructive intervention is essential.